Songs of Songs

How long has it been? Almost two years. I have not been dating ever since. Well, probably not not dating. In relationship. Somehow, the thought of getting into one is 'scary'. My good friend, well, who is getting married soon, asked me why am I afraid to get near to girls? Encouraging me with all sorts of ideas that cooks out from his head. Trust me, the ideas he gave wasn't much encouraging at all. At least not of the proper reasons.

I felt that... the ideal relationship, my ideal, was perhaps to idealistic? Kinda like very dramatic. As if penning my own love story; might just be a fantastic one. I'm afraid. Seriously. How is it like to fall in love again? What am I going to do about it? How am I suppose to react? I''ll panicked, big time. On the contrary, I am looking forward for the one coming, but am I ready? I dunno. I dun want to know.

I'm not bothered by all my friends who's getting married or those who are attached if not planning to. Having a good share of friends who are still single, well, not making it relief either. I'm contradicting myself. Big time. Sounds confusing? Yes it is. It's my mind afterall, penning it in a weird manner, that should you understand, well, nice. If you don't, perhaps I'll hear from you.

Anyway, bumped into the gal I had serious crush on during school days. Two days ago in fact. Coincidental, maybe, but I would like to call it affinity. Hey hey... sounds familiar eh. I get panicked whenever I see her, well, I still do. That day was no difference. I called for her, but not after thinking about it twice. To think about it, when do I even think twice about it at all? She's the only one I want to bump into all these while. Anyway, lost her contact ever since she moved. I was a whimp back then, probably due to my low self-esteem. Well, when you're over-weight and fat, gosh, your guts get sinked down.

She still look gorgeous as usual, in my eyes at least. We didn't had much time to catch up. Both of us have to go somewhere else. Well, I might just stay, perhaps I will actually do so. Silly me.

Might pop her an email, perhaps.

Anyway, back to the main. Love, I'm reading Song of Songs presently, it's quite an artistic piece. The manner Soloman wrote, man, I need commentary should I want to get through in one piece. Can you imagine:

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
You are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.
Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice of fruits,
with henna and nard,
nard and saffron,
calamus and cinnamon,
with every kind of incense tree,
with myrrh and aloes and all the finest spicies.

How this to describe a lady's virginity?

It would probably take me years to come a this level of expression, although I might, in my own ways do so. No one really writes it that manner any more, I might be wrong.

Songs of Songs is about love. Different ways Solomon expressed through usuage of common things in his time. Perhaps we might use computers and chips, or stock markets or X-box as metaphor for our love. It's up to one's imagination. For me, it's still song. I'm kinda traditional to a certain sense. I hummed it out. Was walking back home from dinner one day and all of a sudden, I hummed a tune, kinda great I must say. It's about love, telling someone how much I cared and appreciated the person. Then again, I'm single. So I sang it to God. Well, can't just turn to any stranger in the street right? They might just think a new season of Gotcha is back.

How I wish there's someone to sing to... I forgot how the song goes...