The dreadful time of the year is here again. Yes, you got it. It's Chinese New Year. I never like CNY, Y? Generally because I find it 'meaningless'. Well, everyone will tell you, or me, it's about gathering of families, the 'once-in-a-year' thing, best one is 'renewing ties'.
Aww c'mon, most of the families I visited, friends or relatives alike, always ended up in gambling. That's probably y I feel it's meaningless. How often do me and my relatives, cousins or elders sit there and chat? Everyone is more concern on the 'Fa Cai', strike 4D (my birthday usually falls close to CNY (both lunar and the norm) and it's usually my 'job' to pick, yeah, you got it, 4 hopeful numbers for all. I relent to it.
I mean, I'm sure there's more to just gambling and thinking of getting rich for CNY right? How come no one ever asked me about how's my health, assuming I'm in perfect conditions upon my prescence. Or how have my past year was like, what are the ups and downs I faced and how to move on? Not that I am in desperate need of the concern but more of such questions, I feel, makes a person feels that he/she is in the family. I don't assume that all the families are like that of mine, nor I'm complaining that mine is of such. But I seriously feel that CNY can and should be more than just getting together and wishing each other to get rich.
Even the CNY songs is mostly about getting rich (Fa Da Cai), c'mon... I feel that such a mindset should change. I don't go around wishing everyone 'Gong Xi Fa Cai'. I hate this greeting line, tremendously!!! Then again, I can't change the mindset that has been going on since way before I was born. I gave up. I can only dread the journey to my relatives' place, and yes, with 2 oranges in my hands.
I feel that Christmas, on the other hand, has much more meaning. It reminds us of the Love that was born to this sin-filled place, bringing hopes and joy to all. I mean, every body wants to be rich, but the mind usually hope of striking 4D, Toto and maybe on soccer bets. C'mon... life is larger than that.
I don't buy 4D, well I did bought a few times when I was young. More of like when my mum and older brother asking me to chip in. I gave just to make then happy. The number never came out. I don't understand the 'thrill' of buying even though my dad striked a couple of big ones, and I mean real big one. Once was almost 70 - 80 grand I think, he gave me 1k, was super duper happy then. I mean, c'mon, for a 10+ year old kid, 1k was like 'Wow!!'. But the thing is, my dad would then splurged on his friends and relatives. Eventually, yeah you got it, emptied the winnings. I learned early that the easier the money comes, the much more easier that it goes. No doubt on dat, it used to reflect on my earlier days of work, my part-time job I mean.
Kinda outta topic. Anyway, I dunno how to face this CNY. I guess the only motivation that I have for the next few CNY, and the past, is my grandma. She's like 80+ (yeah... really old huh), whom I forsee not having much more years to live. C'mon, I'm not cursing her, but it's the truth. So I told myself that I'll, at least, make the attempt to visit her on every CNY without failed many years back knowing that her health will deteriorate along with time. It's the least I can to make her happy in her golden years. That's probably all I can offer right now given that my career has just making head outs.
I started working kinda late compare to my cousins, and even my younger brother. In fact, less those who are studying, I am in fact the last to work. Even my younger cousins started way before me... Anyway, I'll just dread through my CNY and give my granny a BIG SMILE when I see her...
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